I Voted for Client Number 8

I always love the media attention garnered by some high ranking individual slipping up. Mind you they are just like everyone else in the world with desires, problems, vices and the like. Yet because they are supposed to be role models(read: perfect)they are completely vilified by the public and specifically those holier-than-thou right wing christians who would never be involved with this sort of filth unless it involved prepubescent boys.

Now I do find it funny that in Spitzer's over zealous crackdown on sketchy bank behavior is what did him in. I wonder if he is sorry he got caught, sorry he improved bank standards, or sorry he cheated on his wife with a lovely girl by the name of kristen.

2007 image obtained via her MySpace web page shows a woman identified as Ashley Alexandra Dupre. The New York Times reported that the real name of the woman identified as "Kristen" in court papers alleging that Gov. Eliot Spitzer paid more than $4,000 for prostitutes' services is Ashley Alexandra Dupre.

She's now got great book deal potential that is for sure.

Great Interview with rando high priced whoooore who will be profiled in the second freakonomics book.

I guess the only feel good story out of this whole spectacle is the fact that the new Governor of New York will be the first blind governor in the country and the first african american governor in NY.

the many joys of live television

first off, i would like to apologize for my lack of capitalization as triple's super high tech mac book pro is currently lacking a shift key. pretty iRonic (get it? i used a lower case i and then capitalized the next letter making my joke hip, cool, and slightly condescending.)

anyways, if you were one of the select few people watching the lakers-mavs game today, your ears might have perked up right before the first half ended. after missing a free throw, kobe let out a family-friendly "come-on mutha fucka" which came through loud and clear on abc's high definition broadcast. the real "ultimate highlight" occured after michelle tafoya's courtside interview with number 24 when kobe gives an unsuspecting fan a face full of towel. here is some super high tech slo mo video capture

Jim Rome is Definitely on Fire: The Duke Mascot Fires Back (sort of)

By now we've all seen the video of the Duke mascot blowing out his knee during their game versus Georgia Tech. The blogosphere, Duke haters, myself, and even Mike Patrick had a good laugh over it. But the alpha-douche bag of sports media, Jim Rome, took it way too far on his show this week.


"Memo to all mascots: let this be a lesson…an omen…a sign! No one likes you! You add nothing to the games you show up at! Mimes think you’re annoying! I get that you’re not athletic enough to play, or look good enough to cheer lead and you’re just looking for your place…just playing the hand you’re dealt. Fine, but don’t expect me to see that and not comment on it! "

Now Jim, we all know your four syllable game. You are a hack and a symbol of where contemporary sports journalism has gone wrong. You are a commentator who relies on over-the-top, inflammatory comments. You speak as loudly and with as much conviction as you can in order to mask the fact that you are an idiot. You're show Rome Is Burning is a running joke with intelligent sports fans across the country, but unfortunately you preach to the lowest common denominator, and they are plenty in number.

So this time you decided to make yourself feel like a big man by making fun of this kid, his injury, and mascots everywhere. To step in the armchair a second, this tough-guy approach most likely stems from a Napoleon complex, especially considering the ridiculous bio posted on your own website, and especially considering that Tommy Tough-nuts goatee you are sporting. You remind me of my high school gym teacher who used to get in on pick up volleyball games just to spike on kids to make himself feel better about being a high school gym teacher.

We decided to talk to the Duke Blue Devil Mascot himself, who will remain anonymous, to get his thoughts on the situation and on Jim Rome. The following interview took place over the phone on Friday, February 29.





TOUJ: How are you feeling?


DBD: I think one of the things people didn't realize was the extent of my injury. I tore my ACL and I have to get surgery. I have to miss my spring break and hopefully I'll be better by the middle of summer. But it's hard to get around right now.


TOUJ: What do you think of Jim Rome's comments?



DBD: I don't know where he thinks I'm coming from. I never tried to say I'm some great athlete. Obviously I'm not good enough to be playing basketball for Duke. I consider this an acting job, I have an acting background. This just happens to take place in the realm of athletics.


TOUJ: Do you watch Jim Rome is Burning or listen to his radio program?




DBD: Not really. Every time I've watched his show I've been so unimpressed. Even before this happened, my friends and I would make fun about how stupid and pointless his show is. I don't get where he comes off. The problem is ESPN has figured out that there isn't enough daily sports news to talk about. So they re-hash the same news and bring in information that isn't really newsworthy.


TOUJ: Yeah his show blows.


DBD: Yeah and they can afford to put it on because it's during a time when nobody watches TV anyways. I don't value his opinion on anything, and from what I understand no one else I've met does either.


TOUJ: But you understand why people think this is funny? I mean, I laughed.



DBD: Yeah i understand, its a guy in a suit getting hurt. If it wasn't me I would have thought it was funny. But I think it was really unprofessional for ESPN to release my name on TV. And from what I understand I might not be able to do it anymore because it's supposed to be a secret who it is.





ESPN, you are headed down the right track in getting rid of things like Quite Frankly, Cold Pizza, and Sean Salisbury, but keep going. Axe Rome and spare us all from the shitty lead-in to the slightly less shitty Around the Horn and tolerable PTI. And Rome, shave the goatee, you look and sound like a douche,you are not tough, (the most popular video of you on youtube is you getting bitched after acting like one), and you will hopefully retreat into obscurity, where you belong, in the coming years.

Bret Brew: Rock of Love 2 Power Rankings

Crisp, refreshing, full bodied, and full of pep. Bret brew gets right to you; it makes you do things, like love, a whole lot. With tons of physical and emotional attatchments, Bret is up to his ears in stress. He is looking every which way for answers right now, and there's nobody to give it to him, well, except me.
After this most recent episode, where the ladies are put on horses, then in the dark, then in the bedroom, Bret has no idea what to do, and I don't blame him.
With 7 ladies left, the only thing to do is rank them... let's start with the 7th, Inna.


7. Inna
O.K., Bret, she's really big boned. We're talking large, Ukranian, meaty, meaty bones. She would crush me into a million pieces. You called her a tank for goodness sakes. How could that possibly be fun, I mean, she would trounce you and demolish you in the bedroom. There's no denying it, she's one hardcore comrade general's manly daughter. If I encountered her, I'd be scared. I am scared right now. You're probably scared. Do the right thing here.


6. Jessica
Bret, this girl is entirely too innocent. Stop kidding yourself, there's no white picket fence in your future, no tea time in the afternoon. You're not going on a sunday jaunt to Lowe's for some house plants. You rock, fuck, and do drugs. Do you think she's going to raise your kids proper? Your kids are going to be such reckless party animals she will be ripped to shreds. Oh, but she wants to be ravaged you say. She's going to be about as fun as a picture of an old bridge in the bedroom. Clip her.


5. Destiney
Wow, she's an idiot Bret. I know she's a rocker, but this chick's been fucked three ways towards the weekend. I've never seen boobs that ravaged before; she's all used up like a Swiffer Wet Jet throw-away towel. Sure, she could fight off the many other rocker chicks that go after you on your unbelievable comeback tours with Poison, but get real, she sucks. Destiney Michaels? Please.


4. Megan
I get it; she's hot. But, newsflash, she was one of the beauty girls in Beauty and the Geek. I honestly think there's nothing there inside her head. Nothing at all. Well, let's get real, maybe there's an extacy desintegrated, peanut sized neuron collection with no divisions wrapped up in a pink bow. I would love to have sex with her; I'm with you there Bretty baby.


3. Ambre
She's the sleeper, no doubt about it. She's full of smiles. Smiles beam across her face like a bright spring day everytime she says any word at all. Under her interests she lists: friends, my career, and other such generic non-meaningless things. Happy Ambre happy day Bret is great! She does have quite the fire when playing mud football though, which is definitely hot. Bret, I like where you're going with this one; I'm glad she squeaked by in the first round.


2. Daisy
Well, well, well, if it isn't miss sex kitten herself. If she was with me, I would let her wear anything she wanted, whenever she wanted. She is hot in such wrong ways that it's so right. The only reason why she wouldn't make it all the way is because she asks way too many meaningless questions about nothing. "Wait, no, she's not hot," O.K., clearly you've forgotten about the special undies episode. In the words of Bret Michaels, "Oh dear Jesus." Enough said. Bam.


1. Kristy Joe
We all saw this coming. The old I love you I hate you but you're so hot that I love you routine. She is super duper hot. Bret, you have to take this girl, c'mon. She is like, so hot. Her one downfall is that she looks like frankenstein in the morning. She looks like the lettuce that has been left out a few days. You still eat it, but only when it's been re-washed and smothered with dressing. Look, facts are facts, and she is one hot mama.

Stupid Alert

There is a lot of corporate evil out there in the world today, but I think one of the worst has to be big pharma. The amount of medication that goes into the market without being tested thoroughly, and the amount of collusion and shady dealings between pharmaceutical companies and doctors is sickening. They are so obviously out there to make a buck rather than help people and its sad. Drudgereport posted these two stories today that show the more ludicrous side of big pharma. The first is about a trend of "depressed pets" receiving anti-depressants,

"Typically if people go out to work all day their parrot will get very bored and frustrated and eventually develop depression,” he said.

“Symptoms often include plucking out their feathers or self-harming, which is obviously very dangerous.

“When cockatoos in particular are depressed they can start to self-mutilate and peck their own legs to the bone."

Some of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies have also recognised the need for anti-depressants for animals."

Hmm...here's an idea, don't get a fucking pet if you are going to leave it in a cage all day. I just can't get over how stupid this is. I can just picture some asshole upper East Side wasps..."Honey I think the parrot is depressed! It just sits here all day in its cage picking itself apart!"

"Well I can't think of what to do, lets just give it some of your prozac."

This would be bad enough on its own, except I saw this article as well, which described a series of trials showing in ineffectiveness of popular antidepressants.

"Even the trials that suggested some clinical benefit for the most severely depressed patients did not produce convincing evidence. Professor Irving Kirsch from the university’s psychology department said: “The difference in improvement between patients taking placebos and patients taking anti-depressants is not very great. Given these results, there seems little reason to prescribe anti-depressant medication to any but the most severely depressed patients.”

The drugs included fluoxetine (Prozac), venlafaxine (Efexor), and Paroxetine (Seroxat)."

So we have lazy and stupid doctors AND pet owners giving their depressed patients AND pets drugs that don't work. I am legitimately stupefied. Anyone who is giving their pets these drugs should be charged with animal cruelty and kicked in the nuts.

Anderson Cooper... ?

As many of us avid CNN watchers have noticed, there's a little tinge of flare to our main man Anderson Cooper. If you haven't been watching, Anderson Cooper hosts his own news program called Anderson Cooper 360, a staple in modern news coverage. They boast that real news coverage is out in the field, "getting to know" the guys out there, "filming" them, and "working with them" to achieve a more "balanced" perspective.

But could this man, a lady-killin' stud muffin, actually be a sea-faring traveler in search of some "pirate's booty?" Well, as Out.com tells us, he's not only gay, he's number 2 on their most powerful homosexuals list! Don't believe me?

"#2 Anderson Cooper
Anointed an “emo-anchor” by The New York Observer for his coverage of Hurricane Katrina, the rise of Anderson Cooper heralded the simultaneous demise of the Dan Rather-Tom Brokaw era of dry efficiency. Despite an unfortunate side trip into reality TV in 2001 as host of ABC’s late, unlamented The Mole, his instincts have served him well: His annual salary at CNN was reportedly doubled this year, from $2 million to $4 million."
--Out.com

I know, on one hand I'm happier than a clam; those flirt sessions with Erica Hill are nothing but a show. But on the other hand, I'm upset... Why won't he come out of the closet?

What's his private life like? I'm incredibly curious. "Coopie woopie, come back to bed, you have a big thtory waiting...honeybun! Thtop fikthing your hair, you know I'm jutht going to meth it awwwwl up."

"Dobbs, settle down, I'll be there in a jiffy."

Anderson is the man. When he's not searching for buried treasure, he's out there giving us a quality report of the news. I hope he takes over for Larry King when he retires, which is the going assumption.

He delivers. I mean, what's wrong with making the news happen, going home, putting on the Bravo channel, lighting a candle or two, finishing the leftover tofu in the fridge, and making Lou Dobbs bite the pillow before you hit the hay?

Nothing Anderson, nothing at all.

Bush Breaks it Down

Say what you want about the guy, but I think President Bush is hilarious. Yeah so he got us bogged down in a war that has killed over 3,000 US Soldiers and countless Iraqis, but his snickering laugh, his funny nicknames for reporters and cabinet members, and the fact he almost choked to death on a pretzel while watching a football game make me laugh. This is just the latest evidence in a long list that Bush is a guy you'd like to have a beer with.

Interview with a Viking : A Followup to the Jamestown Rampage

The Jamestown Vikings, a minor league hockey team in western New York, learned that the Mid-Atlantic Hockey League they played in was canceling the rest of its season last week. Some of the players chose to take their frustrations out on the local community.

Today we are lucky enough to have an interview with one of the players from the Jamestown Vikings.

Zack Kane was the leading scorer on the team, and he wasn't involved with the damage. He agreed to an interview about what happened the night of the rampage. He told us about the sketchy details behind the league cancellation that lead to the destruction of the historic Viking Lodge in Jamestown, NY.

Triple : When did you first hear the league might cancel the season?

ZK: I heard that they may cancel the season about one week before they did, and actually they originally said they were going to start the playoffs right away.

Triple: Was the League up to date on payroll to this point?

ZK: No they were not. Most of the players hadn't been squared away in over two months and some even longer than that. There are a couple of players who did not receive any compensation for their services for the entire season or at least until they quit.

Triple: What did the league say about this lag in payment?

ZK: The league commissioner really said nothing, but our owner insisted that the checks were in the mail and so did our GM, but it was all a lie. There was really no solid explanation, just lies about the checks being on their way, or talks about change in ownership.

Triple: That has got to be frustrating that even people within your organization were lying to the players.

ZK: Absolutely!

Triple: Did there seem to be significant fan support throughout the season, as far as ticket sales?

ZK: For our team definitely, but as far as other teams were concerned they rarely had over 100 fans. It seemed that the Vikings were supporting the rest of the league. We averaged at least 700 fans a game if not more, which was impressive, especially for Jamestown.

Triple: What were the players saying in the locker room leading up to the cancellation and subsequent destruction of the lodge?

ZK: The players were obviously angry but there was no talk of completely destroying the lodge. We were told specifically that the building was not owned by Andrew G. Haines (the league owner), and to not damage the building anymore than it already was.

Triple: Had the building been damaged prior to the night of the incident?

ZK: Yeah a few things had been broken but nothing major. It was usually just broken beer bottles and chairs and stuff like that.

Triple: When did you hear that some of your teammates had decided to take their frustrations out on the building?

ZK: I heard the next moring when I received a phone call from a player saying that there was about ten police officers there telling everyone to get out of the building.

Triple: Did you sympathize with your teammate's frustration or did you think they were out of line?

ZK: To a certain extent I sympathize with their frustrations, but what they did to that building was uncalled for and inexcusable.

Triple: Where do you think the money from the league went if it didn't get to the players?

ZK: I personally think he (Haines) was laundering all of the money through his other businesses. He was basically stealing from everyone involved. Just look at the companies he owns and what companies had the rights to advertise and shit like that for the league. He is a con artist.

Triple: A Google search shows that Andrew Haines also founded an indoor Football League.

ZK: Yeah he basically did the same thing there. Didn't pay his players, traded things for advertising, and fucked everyone over.

Triple: How in the world did he get away with this?

ZK: Well he denies allegations of not paying us. He says he gave us meals everyday, but he turned down meal plans because he wanted cash for himself instead of food credits for the players.

ZK: He was also under house arrest for, what i understand, stealing a car from one of his football deals that went bad. He tried to do the same thing here. The Toyota dealership gave him a car to use for the year for advertising slots, but he decided he wanted to keep it once the league went to shit and claimed they gave him the car.

ZK: He also screwed a local guy who did all the jerseys out of like $4,000. He basically screwed anyone who put any faith into him or the league.

So for the record, if someone approaches you to play in a semi-pro sports league, make sure the owner is not Andrew Haines, or you and your teammates will get bent over, resulting in the damage of historic buildings.

Explosions Are Fucking Cool

Ahhh if this isn't inherently American I don't know what is. It reminds me of the many youtube videos of adolescents filling containers with highly flammable liquids then adding fireworks,fire or anything else that produces the biggest explosion . Pyrotechnics the world over should rejoice because the U.S. Government may have one-upped the idiots with a gallon of gas, and they did it in space making it extra fucking cool. Except the satellite cost the American taxpayers close to 100MM and the mission to bring it down cost roughly 40-60MM to set up. Included in that 40-60MM was a 10MM firecracker(missile). I am I they only one who thinks the government should have created a made for TV movie with this.

I would have watched.

(MM - Million for those of you who don't read)



Yep that was fucking cool.

DC Mountain Lab 1.5

DC snowboard founder Ken Block is also a rally car driver. During a DC video shoot he decided to drive his car up to the park.

Duck and Cover

I was skimming through Drudge Report today and read these two articles from different parts of the page. The first article described Thursday morning's lunar eclipse in the context of historical eclipses.

"Lunar eclipses have long been associated with superstitions and signs of ill omen, especially in battle.
The defeat of the Persian king Darius III by Alexander the Great in the Battle of Gaugamela in 331 BC was foretold by soothsayers when the Moon turned blood-red a few days earlier.
And an eclipse is credited with saving the life of Christopher Columbus and his crew in 1504.
Stranded on the coast of Jamaica, the explorers were running out of food and faced with increasingly hostile local inhabitants who were refusing to provide them with any more supplies.
Columbus, looking at an astronomical almanac compiled by a German mathematician, realised that a total eclipse of the Moon would occur on February 29, 1504.
He called the native leaders and warned them if they did not cooperate, he would make the Moon disappear from the sky the following night.
The warning, of course, came true, prompting the terrified people to beg Columbus to restore the Moon -- which he did, in return for as much food as his men needed. He and the crew were rescued on June 29, 1504. "

So this lunar eclipse heralded the destruction of Native Americans at the hands of the Europeans. OK. Interesting but not a big deal. Then I read another article about a massive satellite full of rocket fuel that is supposed to plummit back to earth sometime soon after the lunar eclipse.

"Because the 5,000-pound satellite malfunctioned immediately after launch in December 2006, it has a full tank of fuel. It would likely survive re-entry and disperse potentially deadly fumes over an area the size of two football fields, officials have said."

Well fuck me running. You'll notice that the one thing the article doesn't mention is where this motherfucker might hit...but don't worry, the Navy is taking care of it. They plan to blow it out of the sky on Wednesday night with some scantily tested missile defense system. Now I'm sure the government, the military, and NASA will try their best to make sure that we don't have a toxic garbage bomb rain down on us. This could go two ways. If I can be stoned and get to watch a massive explosion in the sky on Wednesday night it would be dope. Or our missiles could miss and it could land in a major city, killing hundreds of thousands of people. All I know is that, especially omenous lunar eclipse + crazy shit rocketing towards us while we take pot-shots at it with an untested missile system = pretty fucking nuts. Best of luck to us all, and be sure to duck and cover.

Ina Garten: Be My Wife

If you have yet to wander over to the Food Network, please do so at 12:00 p.m. and 5 p.m. EST every weekday. There's only one person with the balls to hold the best cooking show ever created during these times, and her name is Ina Garten.

It's true, Barefoot Contessa has found its way to me, sneaking through the back door to my brain and controlling my everyday actions, making me do things, like cook. Have a frown on your face for those 30 minutes, I dare you. It's impossible; life is just a bit of terrific during these precious moments of intimacy inside Ina's kitchen (that's what she said?).

In the Hamptons, it's all about the best ingredients. Give them a rough chop, put them in the bowl, stir, add some salt for flavor, and be sure to cook it all together to bring even more flavor out. Here are just some of the words I use to describe her cooking: flavor, lovely, perfection, delicious, unparalleled, the best, Jesus Christ, Moses, Michael Jordan, King Arthur. If Ina was my wife, I'd never leave the house. In fact, I would gladly lay down with her and do whatever she wanted, just so long as she had some of that risotto with the roasted asparagus, or some of that grown-up mac and cheese.

In any case, I'm smitten. She's the ying to my yang, the abra to my cadabra, the nuzzle to my muzzle.

If you like food, then do yourself a favor: add some flavor to your life, turn on Ina midday, sit back, relax, and imagine a life on the back porch in the sun, sitting in your white wooden chair without a care in the world except for what you're going to eat next.

Barefoot Contessa, you just might be the most delicious show on television.

Fratty Pants: B Squad Basketball and Pineapple Bongs

I woke up around 1:00 P.M. today to the sounds of EA Sport's FIFA '08 being played in the room connected to mine, which is my usual Monday/Wednesday routine. But this morning was different because one of my colleagues was cutting up a pineapple. He wasn't making a fruit salad. He made two holes, one near the top and another towards the middle-bottom and tunneled between the two holes. He stuck a piece in the top, not unlike our friend Bob. (seen above) We filled this piece and I hung out with it and FIFA until 3 o'clock class. Because of spoilage issues we decided to eat the fruit afterwards, but plans are underway to craft a new one before our next B Squad Basketball game.

"What is B squad Basketball?" It's a group of kids who play on one of the two house intramural basketball teams and either suck or don't care too much about the outcome. More serious (read:toolbag) kids from other houses get pretty pissed at our general asshole behavior and lack of organization during the games. We have been on the brink of several fights. Last game we played with four guys for the first ten minutes because our fifth was taking a dump. Despite the fact that we are 0-3 and have lost by a combined score of 128-20 we have a great time hacking it up out there and seeing kids get pissed. This is especially true if you hang out with the pineapple before the game. We play again tomorrow night, recap and possible pictures to follow.

Gergalicious

Part of the best political team in television, there's only one David Gergen, Senior Political Analyst at CNN and Professor at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. Let's face it, Gerg knows exactly what's in my noggin. Seriously, John King, Bill Schneider, stop frontin' like you've got your hands on the pulse of the nation's political weiner. You don't. Dobbs, you're out of line all the time; take it easy on those immigrants, would you? (don't complain about this, too.)

But Gergen isn't out of line; he's the man. He should have his own show to find love (see: Flavor of Love). We could call it "The Gergen Train."

Anygerg, I can't help but think Gergen when I think politics. I would much rather have a little Dave Gergen sit by my bed and read me my news from a piece of burnt parchment during a snowy night than watch any amount of news coverage. The other day, I was minding my own business, you know, checking out Anderson Cooper 360 and thinking about Erica Hill leaving her husband for me (Erica, I love you <3<3<3<3<3), when I realized the Election Center was on next, and you know what that means... Gergen.

Of course, he came out firing. "The Congress has an 11% approval rating, that's lower than O.J. Simpson! He has a 16% approval rating, so that's something. You know the new president is going to have to deal with this type of thing, among a variety of other problems: the environment, medicare, the baby boomers are retiring during this presidency, Kyoto expires in the fourth year of this next presidency, the economy's in a recession..."

Jesus, Gerg... stop! I'm scared Dave, hold me. Tell me it's going to be O.K.; don't leave me here to die in a whirlwind of political fear!

...but hey, Davey... nice joke about O.J., you sexy, sexy man, oh stop it, stop it! O.K. go ahead, no stop!

Woah, where was I? Oh yes, as you can see, David Gergen doesn't just keep it real for himself, he keeps it real for the rest of us. CNN, you better keep Gergen there like he's a brand new baby boy created from the Earth, transformed by an alchemist into gold, filled with chocolate and eaten.

Dobbs, shut the fuck up.

Sir Charles the Governor

fake christians
by luvnews

I'd Feel Worse If He Wasn't Pulling in 16 Mil

Just finished watching Andy Pettitte's news conference and came away feeling badly for the guy. As a Yankee hater this is incredibly hard to do. The genuine nature of his responses and his visible regret really make you wonder how he could put these past couple months behind him for the early parts of the season. Roger Clemens would be doing his good friend a big favor if he just admitted what happened. Imagine the weight off Pettitte's mind if the media received confirmation that what he said in his deposition was completely true.

In all honesty I am just sick of this whole spectacle. HGH is not that bad boys and girls I'm sure one of your family or friends had been prescribed it to recover or to stave off some myriad of geriatric complications. I mean every parent who fears their child will not grow past 5'5" can start juicing their kid so they don't end up with napoleon complex at age 18. Don't get me started with how absurd it is to have Congressional members waste their time with this bullshit when there are much more pressing national matters that require their attention.

Lets just move on

Reality TV is Taking Over My Life

Wow, where to begin? Flavor of Love 3 has burst onto the scene with an unbelievable first episode. Rock of Love 2 has remained calm and collected on its quest for the best reality show on television. MTV has been releasing new X Effects, and they are charging ahead with the Real World/Road Rules Challenge Gauntlet III.
It's enough to give me a chubby just writing about it.

Let's start with the big guy: Flavor Flav and the third installment of his groundbreaking show, Flavor of Love. Flav has been upfront in making sure we know that he's never going to go through this again. Thus, I expect this season is going to have all the crazy and flashy Flav attitude that we have come to expect from my baby boy Flav. In a flurry of excitement VH1 let us take a little peek at what's going to happen this season and I just about fell over with exhiliration. I'm waiting on the edge of my seat, quivering with longing and anticipation.

Negatives so far? Well, let's face it guys, we really blew it with the internet girls. How could we do that to him man? Peachy most definitely wasn't a Flavor of Love girl, and where did she get that crown? Did she bring it with her? Just one of the many mysteries floating listlessly in Flav's world. But why? Because we're on Flav's time, not ours. Wowwwwwwwww. Predictions? I bet he keeps Prancer to the end, and Shy's going to be quite the hooligan!

(As a side note; will Shy get her own show? She's going after one, that's for sure. Good luck baby girl.)

But, as sweat drips down the side of my face, and my eyes nearly jump out at the TV, Rock of Love 2's new episode begins. Brett Michaels, Daisy, Kristy Joe, Destiny... fighting, loving, living. Brett has so many emotional connections I don't even know where in tarnation to look next. This week was especially frightening when the whole world watched as Brett nearly got rid of Daisy but shocked the foundations of my life by keeping all the girls.

But at least Kristy Joe is real, or is she? Der, of course she is we're all on her side. But Daisy is just so adorable that she could win too. You know what, I'd be happy if either won, but if Inna wins I'll eat my hat!

In any case, VH1 has been making a strong push for television supremacy. MTV has, with all due respect, been floundering around like a trout lately. Historically it has been that when the latest Real World drops off, MTV drops off the radar for a few months while it collects itself. The Gauntlet III though, has been pulling its weight and carrying MTV on its back. Evan, Coral, and C.T. all on one team? Now that's television. It's only a matter of time before the Veteran squad bursts into a million star bits. Can Frank hold the Rookies together long enough to let it happen? I can't even brush my teeth I'm so giddy with anticipation.

But, what has come out of nowhere as the sleeper of late is the new round of X Effects. Everytime I turn on the TV, I just want to see smiling faces ruin people's lives over and over. A show set up to ruin people's lives! How much better can you get? Split, ruin, resolution. That's the way it works honeybun.

Overall, this week in television has been a rollercoaster of love. Everyone's trying to find it, but nobody can. But somewhere, deep in there, there's a glimmer of hope. That little sparkle in my eye that keeps me watching day in and day out, inundating my mind with such force, that, maybe, just maybe, I will explode into the atmosphere.

I really have nothing to say

I'm just in shock that their marketing group with the terrible attendance and pathetic support thought this would change things.

This Sunday, the Marlins are hosting tryouts for the Marlins Manatee dance team.

The Florida Marlins are looking for big bellies with the biggest jiggle, big feet with the best dance moves and enthusiasm that will rock Marlins fans out of their seats. Auditions will be held to find a few big men for the Marlins Manatees, the first-ever dance/energy squad in Major League Baseball.